


Liberation

by Starofwinter



Category: Star Wars Legends: Republic Commando Series - Karen Traviss
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt, Fist Fights, Gen, Grief/Mourning, What-If, could be gen or shippy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 10:00:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14974814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starofwinter/pseuds/Starofwinter
Summary: What if Jusik hadn't been there to stop Atin from killing Vau in Triple Zero?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Variative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Variative/gifts).



> If you like Walon Vau, you might as well hit the back button now. This isn't a happy story for him.

Mird’s shrieks wake them, but the fight is nearly as loud, as armored bodies crash against one another.  The  _ shunk _ of a vibroblade echoes as it slides out of a gauntlet, and Sev barely beats Jusik through the door just in time to see Atin bury it to the hilt in Vau’s exposed throat.

There was no time for last words; the only memory Atin will hold of Vau’s death is his hate-filled eyes as the life bleeds from them, and the satisfaction he gets from the feeling of blood soaking his glove and spraying over his chest and face.  He smirks, cold and nasty, as he yanks the blade from the body and stands up, dripping blood - Vau’s and his own - as he looks over at everyone gathered in the doorway. His eyes meet Sev’s, and he nods. Sev looks…  _ horrified _ and terrified and lost as he stands frozen.  Atin knows he’ll hate him, probably. Sev loves Vau as much as he fears him; it’s an ugly, twisted thing, like the vines Atin had seen on a mission once - wrapped tight around a tree, choking it to death slowly.  Vau would have done that to Sev, as surely as he’d tried to do it to Atin.

“Is he-” Scorch sounds shaken and hesitant as he grips Fixer’s shoulder, watching Boss check Vau’s pulse.  It’s a formality, shock-driven habit, and they all know it. No one would have survived that, not unless Vau really is the monster Atin has believed him to be.  

“He’s dead.”  Boss’ voice is hollow.  Atin should feel guilty, but he doesn’t.  

He doesn’t really know how to feel as the adrenaline fades, taking with it the rush of satisfaction and victory.  They’re going to recondition him, if they don’t decommission him completely. He killed an officer, and that won’t easily be forgiven, no matter how much of a  _ shabuir _ the officer was.

“Atin,” Kal’s voice cuts through the haze, “Go get cleaned up, I’ll take care of this.”  He steps aside to let Atin pass, and while he can’t really feel Kal’s hand squeeze his shoulder through his armor, it’s enough to steady him a little.

He stares at himself in the mirror after shucking off his armor.  It’s over. It’s over. Vau is dead, he’ll never raise a hand or a blade to anyone else ever again.  He won.  _ I won, you  _ chakaar _ , I won.  You’ll never hurt me again. _  For the first time ever, Atin looks at the scars over his face and chest and he smiles.  There’s still a lot of shit coming, but nothing can take away the sensation of  _ freedom _ he feels.


	2. Chapter 2

“He’s dead.”

Sev never thought that two words could shake the foundations of his world, but Boss’ quiet voice might as well carry the weight of an earthquake.  

Sergeant Vau is dead.  He reaches out, and Scorch is there, their shoulders pressing together as they stare at the body on the floor, blood pooling around black armor.  “What do we do?” Scorch asked, “What- Will they reassign us? Or put us on ice again?”

“Nobody’s putting you on ice,” Kal says, already on his comm, “I’m gonna get you reassigned to me, if you’ll have me.”

Sev speaks before he thinks about it, “Yes.”  He thinks about how easily Skirata’s commandos trust him, call him  _ Kal’buir _ , how he defends them no matter what.  Sev  _ wants _ that.  He’s reeling, lost, and, while he would never admit it even under torture, he’s  _ terrified _ .  Terrified of being alone, of the change he knows is coming - he feared Vau and loved him in equal turns, but no matter the fear, Vau was a constant.  Vau was always there. Now… now what do they have? As he looks at Boss and Fixer and Scorch, he sees that same confused sort of grief he feels. They don’t know what to do or how to feel any more than he does.  

He should be angry.  He should be  _ furious _ and going after Atin to avenge Vau, but no matter how much he tries, he can’t summon any kind of anger.  He just feels so  _ lost _ .  

“Sorry,” he finally says, looking at Boss, “Your call.”  Looks like Omega is already rubbing off on him if he’s taking the lead while his officer is right there.  

Boss just shakes his head.  “Sev’s right. We’re yours, if they’ll let you have us.”  He’s trying not to sound scared, but Sev  _ knows _ him, they’re squadmates.  He knows every inflection of Boss’ voice; he’s just as hurting and scared as Sev is, and that unsettles him even more.  

He pulls away from Scorch and Fixer, going to track Atin down.  He doesn’t know why, or maybe he does.

* * *

 

What he sees when he walks in pulls him up short.  Atin looks… Atin looks  _ happy _ .  And why wouldn’t he?  He got what he wanted.

“Why?” Sev demands, the anger he hadn’t felt till just now bubbling up in his chest, “Why did you kill him?”

Atin looks at him, something ugly flickering to life in his eyes.  “You know why. You’ve always known.”

“Fuck you,” Sev spits, “Wasn’t it enough, you got reassigned, you couldn’t keep your shit together for  _ one fucking mission _ ?”

“Oh, fuck  _ you, _ ” Atin snarls back, “You know why.  You know I couldn’t just let him live.  Not with what he did.”

“What he did?  Made you better?  Focused you, so you wouldn’t get yourself killed like the rest of your squad?”  This feels better somehow, channeling all his grief and confusion and everything else into anger and a fight.

Atin whips around to glare at him.  “He was a sadistic fucker and you know it.  What he did to me - to  _ us _ \- was fucked.  He deserved to die.”  

Sev snaps.  He can’t help it; he needs to do  _ something _ , and so he does what he knows best.  He throws a punch, but Atin knocks it aside.  Even fighting, he’s emotional and not thinking straight, and it shows in how easily Atin drops him to the floor and gets him pinned.  

“Stay down,” Atin snaps at him, “Just stay down.  Don’t do anything stupid. I killed Vau because he was a kriffing bastard, and I swore I would.  I did it for you too, you and the rest of Delta, and everybody else he fucked over. You think I haven’t seen the way you looked at him?  You think I didn’t know how you felt? I loved him too, but I woke up. I saw who he really was, and I knew there was no way he was going to stop unless I stopped him.”

“You don’t know how he really was-”  Vau  _ loved _ them, in his way, or at least Sev wants to believe he did.  “He did it because he loves us.”  _ Loved.   _ He can’t love them anymore, because he’s dead.  Atin made sure of that.

“ _ No he didn’t. _ ”  Atin grabs Sev’s chin, forcing him to hold his gaze.  “Love isn’t like that. If he ever loved us, he wouldn’t have… fuck, done  _ any _ of the shit he did.  Wouldn’t have beaten us, or tried to kill anybody who stepped out of line.   _ He didn’t love us _ .  He never did.   _ Shab _ , Sev.  I did it for all of us.  Everybody he hurt. Me, you, Scorch, Fixer, Boss,  _ everybody he ever laid a hand on _ .  We never deserved it.  You don’t deserve it.” Atin’s voice is rough, and his eyes are shining, wide and wet, tears clinging to his lashes.  “None of us deserved that.”

Sev isn’t aware of the way he’s shaking until Atin rests a hand on his chest, holding him down and steadying him all at once.  “I don’t know- I don’t know what to do now,” he whispers, and when Atin looks at him, it’s with nothing but understanding.

“I know.  I know,” he says, and Sev knows he does.  

Maybe, if Atin’s figured out how to live without Vau standing over his shoulder, he can too.


End file.
